Dirty Green « Crudely Interrupted

Dirty Green

Geez this economy is a bitch isn’t it? People out of work, out of food and many of them have to decide whether or not they can afford to eat this winter or stay warm. If only there was a way to make some big fast cash so a person can keep afloat. Maybe Craigslist is a good place to hunt for a job. You can ALWAYS trust Craigslist. Hmmm….

Oooooohh…..look at what we have here!! A sales job!! This looks awesome!!! And it is environmentally conscious!!

900$ / Week Only Green Energy (Anywhere)

——————————————————————————–
Date: 2009-08-22, 6:38PM EDT
Reply to: job-p3g2g-1337133667@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]

——————————————————————————–

900$ / Week Only Green Energy

Planet Energy is looking for motivated individuals

Full and part-time positions available, flexible hours,

full training provided.
New green. can help save our earth
Energy experience is amazing

Highest paying energy retailer

For immediate consideration forward your resume Mkatz@Planetenergy.ca

•Location: Anywhere
•Compensation: As per contract basis
•Principals only. Recruiters, please don’t contact this job poster.
•Please, no phone calls about this job!
•Please do not contact job poster about other services, products or commercial interests.

PostingID: 1337133667Maybe I should check out these Planet Energy people before I get my crayons out and start bullshitting a new resume.

A little about our world.
Planet Energy is devoted to increasing your peace of mind in regards to energy use by providing environmentally-conscious energy options that respect the world we all share. You can live emissions free by choosing Planet Energy’s carbon-neutral natural gas and 100% renewable electricity each available with the option of affordable, stable-price protection.

Planet Energy is licensed by the Ontario Energy Board to provide a stable price alternative to the variable, open market pricing offered by utilities.

Planet Energy sources green power from low-impact hydro power generation facilities that are Eco-Logo certified.

Planet Energy sources carbon offsets that are third party verified to meet the Voluntary Carbon Standard Program.

We are proudly 100% Canadian owned and independent from any local utility or government.

Wow they sound freaking great!!! I can sell stuff, and their website looks cool. Plus their ad says “anywhere!! I’m anywhere!! Sometimes I’m even somewhere when I’m not busy elsewhere!! They also want flexible. I can be flexible just as long as it isn’t in a George Michael kinda way. It’s green and everything. Besides, $900 a week is good money for somebody with little to no experience. They must have a really great product or at the very least an excellent sales pitch. Kind of like those telemarketers or people that knock on your door asking you to change your electricity provider and then months later you find out how badly you been fucked in the as……..ut oh.

Folks, I hate to tell you this but “green” isn’t an energy plan, it’s a colour. Nothing more, nothing less and most of it is nothing more than a great big scam. Sure it’s green alright, but not how you think. It’s the kind of green only a few people make lots of, and most people end up having it taken from them.

You’ve swallowed the big green pill and didn’t even know why. Just like the movie, you are being sucked dry as a source of energy and money while you sleep and it is all on purpose by some very clever people.

The next time you think about being green and trying to do the right thing, do yourself and the planet a favour. Read the fine print. It’s in black and white which isn’t very green, but it is something that green can’t claim to be. Very, very black and white.