Horrible
Kittens today I am in an uncharacteristically good mood. I have no idea why. The streetcar ride into work today was a terrifying ordeal with some grifting business criminal texting their ambient thoughts away on Twitter while resting their Blackberry on my head, the local coffee shop has found a brand new abomination by not only not being able to just make me a black coffee but they have also raised their prices and made me the worst black coffee ever produced by human mammals, and I have tripped over my untied shoelaces at least thirty times today already.
Despite all signs pointing to an terrible day my mood remains fairly peaceful and optimistic. With that in mind my Kittens today we shall be discussing the blissfully cheerful topic of why people are and will always be adorably fucking horrible, rotten and infected.
Kittens for those of you wise enough to read yesterdays Mailbag article that featured the feel good story about Peruvian gangs murdering people for their body fat so it could be used for cosmetics, you may have thought that was the worst that mankind could offer. I suppose that depends on your perspective of what it is to be horrible, so in order to truly grasp the magnitude of mankind’s daily abominations I offer you a few samples from the news today so that we may have a full buffet of societies atrocities.
Musical Scrooges: Record company donates just 25p from The Soldiers charity album
It looked like a generous gesture from a sometimes greedy music industry.
The album by The Soldiers, a group made up of three serving members of the Armed Forces, was advertised as donating part of its proceeds to military charities.
But last night the record company behind the trio was facing a backlash after it emerged that as little as 3 per cent of the price of each CD goes to charity.
Proceeds from the record have been intended to support the Army Benevolent Fund, Help For Heroes and The Royal British Legion.
The album, Coming Home, is sung by Lance Corporal Ryan Idzi, Sergeant Richie Maddocks and Sergeant Major Gary Chilton
It has been selling for £8.99 at HMV and with online store Amazon at £8.68.
It was released on October 26 on Rhino Records, a subsidiary of major international label Warner Music Group, and has already gone platinum with sales of 300,000.
But a spokesman for the group has admitted that only 25p from each copy – which is made up of cover versions – is going to the good causes.
This is pointed out clearly on the back of the CD. The figure means each charity is receiving only 8p per CD sold.
How about that then Kittens? Some singing soldiers get together and make a best selling album so that they can give some money to charity and guess what happens. The record company gives a tiny wee portion to charity and keeps the rest of the profits. Go figure.
We all know that the world houses some truly horrible people. I personally believe it to be a prison colony. The worst that the universe ever created was dumped here on earth to fight it out amongst ourselves until there is nothing left. I can’t prove this belief, but you can’t disprove it either.
We have cannibals, arsonists, murderers, thieves, bankers, rapists, clergy, wife beaters, insurance salesmen, genocide, Oprah, drug dealers, head hunters, war criminals, lawyers, politicians, torture, biological warfare, serial killers and Cirque du Soliel.
Should it be any great surprise that we can add massive corporate record companies to that list?
Record companies are in the business of fucking people over. They pay their artists as little as possible and charge as much as the public is willing to pay for their product. This isn’t anything new, just ask folks like Little Richard and Chuck Berry how it works. They will be happy to tell you.
It works though because there will always be people who want to be stars, and a public that wants to buy and listen to music. Music and all other forms of entertainment and distraction are just another drug like crack and the companies are the dealers.
They aren’t in the business of charity so it is no surprise that they sold a product marketed as charity and gave very little of the profits away. Their books are sealed and don’t owe anyone an explanation. If people want to convince themselves that they are giving to charity then they should give money to charity and not buy a product that claims to be associated with it. That is consumerism, not altruism. Charity and selflessness isn’t a brand and it doesn’t come with a t-shirt telling the world that you gave money away. Selling a product by telling people that it is helping others is sickening. Buying one believing that you are helping others is just as bad.
Now then Kittens while we are on the topic of charity and fucking people over, you may enjoy this lovely little tale.
Aristocrat who plundered £1.6m from orphan charity to pay for fine wine, golf clubs and school fees escapes prison
A thieving aristocrat who treated his family charity like a ‘magical piggy bank’ walked free from court yesterday.
The Honourable Jonathan Davies, 65, plundered £1.6million from the fund set up by his philanthropist grandfather, spending the cash on personal luxuries and a failed business venture.
The charity, which helped a host of causes including caring for Bosnian war orphans, has collapsed because of his dishonesty.
Father-of-six Davies, who was educated at Eton and Oxford, spent the money on his daughter’s school fees, gifts to family members, credit card bills, golf and fine wine, and tax and utility bills.
Davies is bankrupt and will not have to pay back a penny.
He is the son of the second Baron Davies of Llandinam and is married to the daughter of the late Sir William Godfrey Agnew, clerk of the Privy Council and a friend of the Queen. Davies’s older brother David is the third Baron
Kittens it is one thing for a corporation with employees employ and share holders to make money for to sell a product to people stupid enough to believe that they are going to give some of the money to charity rather than just going to a Legion and writing them a cheque, but it takes a true douche bag to steal money from orphans. Orphans from a war torn country. Then be freed from jail.
The moral of this story my Kittens is that if you hadn’t already gotten the Tweet regarding rich aristocrats, they aren’t big fans of poor people. They also most certainly aren’t exactly in touch with the common man and if you are The Honourable Jonathan Davies (I just threw up all over myself typing that) then you surely don’t mind literally taking the food out of orphans mouths, and going to a store to buy yourself some new golf clubs to show off at your private country club.
The only thing this man didn’t do (or at least as far as we know) was to use some of the stolen orphan money and buy some of the Peruvian human fat cream to wank into his aristocratic sausage so it would look younger for when we went on sex tourism trips to Cambodia with Gary Glitter and Roman Polanski. Or at the very least eat some of the actual orphans so he would have a more youthful glow and impress Mrs Honourable Davies with his everlasting orphan enriched wonder boner.
Now then Kittens we know that corporations and aristocrats are horrible people, but what about the people who we actually think we can trust and universally believe are doing good things?
Well guess what. They’re horrible as well.
Toronto Humane Society officials arrested, face animal-cruelty charges
Shelter’s president, chief veterinarian and three others face criminal charges after Globe and Mail investigation uncovered widespread problems; board of directors also charged with provincial offence of cruelty to animals
The Toronto Humane Society’s president and chief veterinarian are facing criminal charges of animal cruelty for running a dysfunctional shelter where animals were allegedly denied food and water and left to die suffering in their cages.
The charges against volunteer president Tim Trow, veterinarian Steve Sheridan and three other senior officials came six months after a Globe and Mail investigation uncovered widespread allegations of problems at the River Street facility.
Toronto police officers and agents from the Ontario Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals swooped in Thursday afternoon to execute a search warrant and lead five handcuffed men out of a shelter that the OSPCA’s lawyer derided as “disease-infested.”
“These are animals who are just left to die in their cages,” Christopher Avery, a lawyer for the OSPCA, said during the raid. “They’re found dozens at a time, dead in [a] cage, every morning in this building. Dying from cancer, suffocating based on phlegm, these are animals who are starving to death, literally.”
I think the man pictured, Tim Trow who is the Humane Society President actually ate some of the animals. Look at the size of that fucker!!
How does he wipe his ass? Oh wait, I know!!
Is there anything more fucked up than an animal rescue charity allowing animals wallow in despair, pain and disease in their own filth before they die or starvation?
Yup.
Cops: Dad locks kids in trunk, goes shopping
Mass. man pleads not guilty to assault, reckless endangerment of a child
FALL RIVER, Mass. – A man locked his two young sons in the trunk of his car while he ran an errand, Massachusetts police said.
Fall River police allege Michael Monahan put his kids, ages 3 and 6, in the trunk of his Pontiac Trans Am for several minutes Tuesday morning while he went inside a sailing shop.
According to court records, Monahan told investigators the boys like to play in the trunk.
The 35-year-old Monahan pleaded not guilty Wednesday to assault and reckless endangerment of a child. He was released on cash bail.
A broadcast from WPRI-TV showed Monahan’s attorney telling a judge that his client loves his children.
The children are in the custody of their mother.
Kittens by the time I read the very first sentence I fucking KNEW it was going to be a Trans Am, I swear.
I have to confess though, I never would have put Trans Am and sailing together.
It probably goes without saying that this man should never own pets. It also doesn’t really need to much editorial regarding the fact that he should also never be allowed to own and operate a Trans Am (or any vehicle, not even a wheelbarrow), a sailing or any kind of boat and especially children.
During the hot summer months there are always loads of public service commercials for those of you who aren’t clever enough to understand that locking your dog in a car is a bad idea because they tend to die.
Notice how alcohol wasn’t a factor in his decision making? He did this this stone cold sober.
The terrifying thing about this horrible person is that he owns a car. He also owns some kids, probably a house, has a job in which somebody depends on him and his decision making and also VOTES.
Is there a limit to the sick fucking horrible things that people will do to children.
Hell no.
Christian girl, 16, gets 50 lashes for wearing ‘indecent’ knee-length skirt in Sudan
A 16-year-old Sudanese girl was lashed 50 times after a judge ruled her knee-length skirt was indecent, her family said today.
The mother of Christian teenager Silva Kashif said she is to sue police and the judge who imposed the sentence under Islamic shariah law.
Saying she only learned about her daughter’s conviction after she had been lashed, mother Jenty Doro said the family’s religion should have been taken into account.
Kashif, whose family comes from the south Sudanese town of Yambio, was arrested while walking to the market near her home in the Khartoum suburb of Kalatla last week, Doro told Reuters.
‘She is just a young girl but the policeman pulled her along in the market like she was a criminal. It was wrong,’ said Doro.
Doro said Khashif was taken to Kalatla court where she was convicted and punished by a female police officer in front of the judge.
‘I only heard about it after she was lashed. Later we all sat and cried … People have different religions and that should be taken into account’ she said.
‘She was wearing a normal skirt and blouse, worn by thousands of girls. They didn’t contact a guardian and punished her on the spot.’
Think about that one the next time your boss tells you that wearing a Twister Sister t-shirt isn’t appropriate on casual Fridays Kittens.
Better yet, think about the next time you say something stupid like “we have too many rights and freedoms of speech” and remember what happens when they are slowly eroded over time, one tiny piece at a time.
Now that you have let that sink in, really try to stretch that imagination of yours and consider what happens when religion and government aren’t just good friends, but the same thing.
Isn’t intolerance fun Kittens? Especially when it is that age old gem, RELIGIOUS intolerance. It’s that fun little pass time that brought us such fun philosophical debates such as the Crusades, the Arab-Israeli wars, The Spanish Inquisition and September 11.
As an atheist I’ve never been a big fan of religion. I don’t have any problem with people who choose to worship and would never deny their right to believe whatever they wish, but I am not a great admirer of the people who think that they should be the ones doing the preaching and administering their gods will. This is mostly because they sure wouldn’t know what their god wanted because the words in the books they believe tend to be rather contradictory and the preaching that they charge their flock for is always nothing but self serving.
Religion doesn’t serve man, it serves men. The men who claim it as theirs and theirs only to dispense.
Here in the west religion is usually only slightly pesky. You know, we are just censored because of it, fight in wars over it, have it presumed to true so it is scrawled on our money, part of our national anthems and inflicted on us as religious holidays and in the case of America they execute criminals over it. All and all, no big deal.
It’s a horrible thing when religion and government are the same thing and can dictate that a 16 YEAR OLD CHILD can be whipped without any appeal for what she chooses to cloth herself with because of her opposing beliefs.
It almost makes you wonder what could possibly be more horrible than whipping a person who breaks a law. Oh wait, I know….
Man dies after Russian police beating
Moscow – A Russian police officer beat a man to death in Saint Petersburg, authorities said Thursday, amid a growing public concern over abuse of power and corruption among the country’s law enforcers.
The investigative committee of the prosecutor general’s office said in a statement that it was investigating the death of a man who died earlier this month after a policeman “kicked him in the stomach multiple times.”
After the victim was released from a police station, he sought medical help and was placed in hospital, where he died from the inflicted injuries,” the statement said.
The statement was the second official announcement of a death at the hands of police this week.
Kittens, I’ve said it a million times. They aren’t called pigs because they’re good at finding truffles.
The second “official” announcement of cops beating a person to DEATH in one week? Jesus it isn’t even Saturday yet, not even in Russia!
How many unofficial beatings that didn’t result in death have there been this week?
The problem with law enforcement and why those who choose to participate in it is because it is called “law enforcement” and not “law encouragement.”
If the people doing the enforcing cared about the law they wouldn’t be doing any enforced but plenty of law making. For that reason they love the enforcement part of law enforcement and not the actual law bits.
It isn’t like the folks who do all of that icky legal things are exactly innocent though Kittens.
Think of something horrible. Really horrible. Say for example, oh gee I dunno, a serial killer. Serial killers are almost as horrible as it gets. Let’s read a little diamond about the law here in our humble little nation and a particularly cranky serial killer and decide how horrible we all are.
Pickton’s lawyers win bid to broaden scope of serial killer’s appeal
VANCOUVER — The Supreme Court of Canada decided Thursday to allow the defence to argue a broader appeal next year for serial killer Robert (Willie) Pickton.
The court gave no reasons for its decision but Gil McKinnon, one of the lawyers handling Pickton’s appeal, said he applied for leave to appeal broader issues than those arising from the 2-1 decision of the B.C. Court of Appeal.
The ruling allows the defence to raise several issues: whether the trial judge erred in not clarifying a jury question before answering, whether the judge erred in his response to the jury question, whether the trial judge erred by allowing similar fact evidence, and whether the judge properly charged the jury on the co-principle conspiracy.
Ernie Crey, the brother of Dawn Crey — one of the 20 other women Pickton is charged with killing, said Thursday he’s not surprised by the latest development, but fears the prospect of Pickton’s murder convictions being overturned.
The Crown theory at trial is that Pickton acted alone and killed a number of women on his Port Coquitlam, B.C., farm, where he often butchered pigs at night.
During the jury’s verdict deliberations, it asked the judge about whether Pickton “indirectly” took part in one or more of the six murders. Justice James Williams told the jury: “It is not necessary for you to find that Mr. Pickton acted alone in order to find him guilty of the offence. It is sufficient if you are satisfied beyond a reasonable doubt having considered all the evidence that he actively participated. It is not sufficient that he was merely present or took a minor role.”
There you have it Kittens. If you are ever wondering what to do on the weekend and either own or have access to a pig farm where you live like a dirty psychotic madman, feel free to kill off 20 hookers, chop them up and feed them to your pigs.
Sure it’ll suck once you get greedy and try to kill a few more to satisfy your insatiable blood lust and are caught, but then all you have to do is make sure you are tried by an incompetent crown attorney (easily done), have a slightly less incompetent defense attorney (again, easily done) and then follow through with a few appeals based on technicalities.
Sure the mountain of corpses might look bad but on the bright side the Supreme Court will agree with you and then not even tell the victims families WHY THEY FUCKING AGREE WITH YOU ARE JUSTIFY THEIR DECISIONS.
You know, justify kind of like….oh…gee…..justice?
It really can’t get more horrible can it Kittens? We now know that all of humankind is truly horrible, but surely it just can’t get any fucking worse can it? What is worse than being a serial killer who after being convicted even has the balls to appeal and drag the victims families through more pain and suffering while the Supreme Court agrees with you and lets you?
How can anything possibly be even more horrible than that?
Oh I know…
Russian cannibal who ate mother has sentence reduced ‘because he was hungry’
A Russian cannibal who killed and ate parts of his own mother has had his prison sentence reduced by nine months after a court accepted he resorted to cannibalism out of hunger rather than preference.
Sergei Gavrilov admitted he had used parts of his murdered mother’s legs to make soup and pasta for weeks on end. But he argued he was driven to the desperate act because he had ran out of money and was starving.
“I did not like the flesh,” he told investigators. “It was too fatty.”
A court in southern Russia accepted his explanation and ruled that the unemployed 27 year-old had therefore not wantonly defiled his mother’s own corpse. It did find him guilty of murder, however, and sentenced him to fourteen years and three months in prison, according to Russian news agency Interfax.
That is nine months less than the standard 15-year sentence for such a crime. Mr Gavrilov got off more lightly because of his confession and because the judge believed he had turned to cannibalism out of hunger rather than preference.
Mr Gavrilov said he had killed his 55 year-old mother Lyubov last January after she refused to hand over her pension. He wanted to spend the money on a drinking and gambling binge.
Angered by her refusal, he hit her on the head with a brick and strangled her with an electric cord before dumping her lifeless body on the balcony.
It was only two weeks later after he had spent all her money that he discovered that her body had frozen on the balcony and decided to begin slicing bits of flesh from her legs to keep his hunger pangs at bay.
There you have it Kittens. What else is there to say?
A man gets a whopping 14 years in jail for killing his mother, leaving her for a few weeks while he goes drinking, fucking eats her with some pasta and then has his sentence reduced because he says he was hungry and didn’t much like the taste of the old broad.
The court never asked him why he didn’t just pawn a few things around the house to pay for food, or at the very least go rummaging around a dumpster outside of a grocery store, or even if he was so damned hungry and poor, how is it he even had pasta lying around and didn’t just have it without human meat?
Horrible. We’re all horrible.
We complain about things we can’t change like the weather or a sports team and when we read or see things like these very true stories and we actually can change things by saying loudly “okay enough is fucking enough” we don’t. We just read them and say “golly, that certainly is horrible isn’t it?”
We’re all horrible Kittens. Horrible to the core.
We’re even more horrible than the worst of the people we lock up or in some cases set free because we accept the horribleness of it all.
There really can’t be anything worse than being a cannibal serial killer can there? It’s impossible. It is the lowest depths mankind has ever sunk.
It wouldn’t even matter how or why a person murdered and ate somebody. There is no greater taboo.
Even us SMOKERS aren’t worse than cannibal serial killers right Kittens?
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